Sometimes I just like writing words. I have never just sat down to a blank page and tried not to think, but just write the first words that come to my head. This post will probably never be actually available to the public, but I thought it would be kind of fun to try!
I wonder if anyone else has ever done one of these before. You see, I believe people's brains are way more random than we realize. We only sort through the nonsense to speak semi understandable sentences. I'm closing my eyes to write this sentence for some random reason. I wonder if I've messed up at all. I even had an apostrophe in there, hahaha. Oh, look! My eyes are open now, and I didn't type anything wrong! Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, random brains.
I find that if I just lie down and sit in the quiet of my bedroom, in a comfortable position with my eyes closed, head leaning back on a pillow, my mind cycles through a ton of crap! I'm always thinking about stuff I wish I had accomplished that day or maybe things that I'm currently stressing about or even things that have happened way in the past.
But, if I INSTEAD try to NOT think, I feel somewhat free. I'm not trying to make sense of all the thoughts that go through my head. They stop trying to organize into patterns and shapes which lead to me having some sort of opinion of the groups they are forming. Instead... they start floating. The thoughts don't try to organize at all. They are like small clouds that float around very slowly every so often bumping into each other causing a new cloud to form.
It's almost like the happy thoughts start to emerge because the clouds aren't trying to form a storm like they always do. They are free, letting the thoughts that are more shy and less aggressive peep through and float to the front. Instead of my brain forcing them to form groups and me grabbing around from one thought to another, I'm just laying my head down watching the little, white, poofy clouds float by me as I observe them peacefully and let them float away without another though to them.
Of course, this can lead to many random thoughts that I see which make absolutely no sense, but it's okay because they don't need to. In those peaceful moments, it's okay to just let them be. I might just think of chocolate milk or maybe a Christmas tree. Almost every time penguins will make their way around, though I'm not sure why when someone asks me to think of something random one of the first things that comes to mind is penguins... They are cute though. I can think of so much. Singing, whistling, parks, tire swings, snow, daisies... Really, I just lie with my head on the pillow letting my mind work the way it WANTS to, and not the way I'm always telling it to for a while.
I think I should do it more often. I feel like I can be too hard on myself and my brain, which is in fact me, because you are what you think. I wonder how different people would be if they stopped telling themselves so many things every single second and just let their brain do what it wants in the quiet. Maybe some think I'm talking about daydreaming, but I'm not really. Even daydreams are directed purposefully to pretend and play out possible experiences that you think would be enjoyable. No, I'm talking about free, light, thought. Floating.
Maybe, people would fall asleep. I know that can happen to me. But, doesn't that mean you're relaxing? If you are relaxed enough to fall asleep, it must be good for you to give your brain a rest like this every so often.
Anyway, I had no idea what this post was going to be about when I started it. Even the title was a brain spill. I just kind of wrote what was coming to me without stopping to think. This is probably one of the strangest posts anyone could ever read, though I'm not sure. I haven't gone back and read any of what I wrote and I'm not really thinking about it. I would LOVE to read some posts like this from other people. I don't think I have many out there that read my posts, but if you've made it this far, I'd love to see a post from you like this, no matter how random and weird you think it might be, if only to try out the exercise and see how it makes you feel. You just have to make sure and keep typing. Don't stop and try to think. I might do more of these and add "Brain Spill" into the title each time I write one. Do you know I love it when people smile?
Thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day!